my life right know seems more and more obscure. i have no life purpose..... it's like floating instead of swimming, let myself being led by the stream. i often think i haven't gave my life a meaning. i think i haven't accomplished anything at all, and afraid i'm dead before able to do so.
i don't even know what i want to be, or do, as a living. my mom keep encouraging me to be a doctor, but i don't know.... i guess i won't. people said, "do what you like as a living and you don't have to work any single day of your life" but i don't exactly know what i like. i like to draw. but i don't think my parents would ever allow me to majoring at art. after all, most people don't take art seriously, let alone make it as a living. unlike being a doctor or lawyer or else.
move to another subject, when i was 10, i marveled at teenlit books. i thought high school would be that fabulous as illustrated in those novels. i remember i wanted to be tall and skinny and crazy beautiful wearing grey skirt like those highschool divas. but looking at myself now...... i'm more like 10 years old instead of highschool divas. not like i want to be one, it just feels pretty sad to ruin my childhood dream.
despite that, i think my highschool life turns out to be so fine so far. not a novel-material but i'm fond of it. there are of course unplanned mistakes, unexpected people, and unwanted regrets, but what's life without a little mess? ;-)
ps: i'm soooo unorganized and careless when it comes to little stuffs. after the great loss of my yellow ipod, now i also lost my glasses. uh, both are essential :-(
pps: i think i've beginning to lost my creativity little by little. this is terrible!!!!
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